


A Little Money Never Hurt Anyone

by slytherintbh



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: $$$$$$, AU Nonsense, Capitalist Villains, Gen, Purple Leader, or £££££ even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-11
Packaged: 2018-07-14 09:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7166291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherintbh/pseuds/slytherintbh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt loves money, and himself. Nothing else really comes close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Money Never Hurt Anyone

**Author's Note:**

> An attempt at coalescing my ideas about a Purple Leader. Considering that Zanta Claws' perfect gift for canon Matt was money, it made sense that his army would be based upon attaining wealth.

Matt considered the stacks of money on his desk and hummed, leafing through the nearest wad. Paul glanced at Patryk hopefully; his purple jumper seemed dirtied with red, having paid a particularly high cost for the most recent haul.

“No.”

At Matt’s word, Paul’s face drained of colour and cheer. “N-no, sir?” 

“No, no, this just won’t cut it.” Carding his fingers through immaculate ginger hair, Matt scowled, estimating the worth of the stacks of green. A few hundred thousands, perhaps? Enough to settle any person for life. But it wasn’t  _ enough _ . In his gut, the man knew that it wouldn’t sate him, not nearly. He needed  _ more _ . “It’s a good start, but it’s still just…” Matt sighed, pensively. “It’s just inadequate. Simple fact. How’d we get it?”

Shoulders sinking, Patryk’s eyes were bruised red; tears of frustration danced easily atop his bottom lashes. “Bank heist, my leader. An army member caught wind of a rebel group planning a robbery. We simply gunned them down as soon as they returned to their base.”

“Hence the stains. Do wash those out.” Neatly extracting a single £20 note, he considered the design in the light. Surely, a handsome face such as his own would be a far more attractive feature; hence the army, hence the increasing attacks on vital country assets. Take over the land, and the economy comes with it. On which note… “How is the army faring?”

Paul suddenly cheered up, neatening his already immaculate blue coat. “Excellent, Purple Leader. We have had a surge in recruits lately, probably spurred by our success. Around 200 in the past fortnight, a little more. But there is -”

“-there is something odd, sir.” Patryk took over, with some trepidation. “ _ They _ have joined. The ones you said to watch out for. I believe they are planning to stage a coup.”

Matt listed back in his chair, hands threading together in delight. So! This was fun. Edd, Tom and Tord thought they could get rid of him? It had been years since he had initially left them - 8, almost - and there was definite entertainment to be had. Which of them had pressured the others to join? Probably Edd. Edd would want to talk Matt down from his power, remind him of their friendship, urge him to leave the army behind. Tom would likely empty a round into Matt’s stomach without a second thought. Tord though?

Tord was a very complex man. On the one hand, he was devoted to his friends to the extreme. On the other, he had a thirst for control which was clumsily masked. Maybe he would attempt to usurp Matt’s position… and do what? Start some half-baked communist uprising?

The thought was laughable, so Matt laughed. As if Tord Abels was capable of anything so organized. 

“Watch their actions, bug their rooms, but don’t stop them just yet.” If Paul was surprised, he hid it well, inclining his head ever so slightly before exiting the main office. “This may be  _ fun. _ ”


End file.
